Ramblings to me

I'll drive away with you on a Sunday afternoon
when the leaves turn brown and crush~disintegrate, against my hand

Beneath my feet, I'll tread lightly on your emotions

while tempting you, instead, to dance with mine

I'll seek out the inner beauty of your beliefs

if you can come to forgive my lonesome grief

Take me away on a full-moon dream

where time cannot touch me and

wanderlust sparkles in the ground

Where music reigns as language

and dance is the movement~always fluid in our motion

We'll ride a wave on a butterfly ocean.

When we get there

When I plant my feet

and stretch my arms

When I take in a deep breath

I'll speak softly to myself and whisper~

When will you know me

When will all this count

Sure I've been trying to explain how imperfections

are simply reality

I know there are things to fix

and rules to follow through

I may even understand how my restlessness

may somber you

But I'm waking to new time

and listening to softer sounds

I'm finding peace through each moment

what were once endless days abound

My breath feels slower, deeper

and my sight finds memories to capture

I love with fierce passion

and hurt with fury, I know

I'm stronger than I was yesterday

and live in my hours knowing their mine

I'll keep trying to build strength

in my soul and love for this life

It's the lessons we learn and the paths that are chosen

that allow us to expand so we may leave a beauty mark on

this vast, breathing land

I find peace living for these moments.

So today I'll pull my dreams from my pillow and bring them to life.

I need your concern but I desire your understanding,

for my love, to the me once afraid

Whom I see growing in variable ways

It takes time for most

and that I'll give

As long as time I may have to say~

I once happily lived.

Just one kiss

Today I walked over to you and leaned down to give you a hug as you played on the floor. I turned to stand up and you pulled my arm, lifted your sweet face and gave me a kiss-all on your own-the first one without asking or smothering you with my own kisses. I drew in my breath, smiled at you, thanked you for your sweetness, and you went back to playing. My thousands of kisses to you will always equal your one given to me, I hope you know this forever.

The rush after the break

The words have been stuck inside. Building in a crescendo, the beat hard against my heart.

So much going on- so many emotions, thoughts, plans- rushing and pulsing through my veins.

Ideas, words, images, colors - filling my mind for my art, for my home, for my husband, for C and for myself.

I feel it all so tense pressing and rising like water against a dam-on the verge, tiny trickles I see heeding warning for the poignant moment before the break.

I see myself clearer now and more in tune.

I am so much more aware of the person I am, not who I am trying to figure out.

I am good with the me when once I was not- the little details are my makeup and I love them more and more.

Letting go of the stigmas I have placed upon myself.

I find myself drawn in so many directions and now as I walk my individual path the journey resonates deeper with rich blessings and optimism I can feel- a slight energy that reverberates inside.

For some time I felt I had only been trying to find my fit.

Confidence is securing the love for myself now.