Thursday, November 29, 2007

Photo shoot with my family

(Photography by Ricki Chester)


Al Green was singing sweetly into my ear the other night while I was working out at the gym. I thought to myself ~ Al Green reminds me of my family~ and I smiled.

Yes Al Green reminds me of my family.

Colorful, deep loving soul music reminds me of my family. The hurt, the pain, the struggle, the love, the anger, the resilience..the ties that bind~over and over again.

The guy who covered Al Green's music at my parent's Christmas party one year, who smoked up on their driveway reminds me of them, giving us all a good head shake and laugh at the quirks of people. "It takes all kinds" my Dad always says. Being able to not take ourselves to seriously.

The ability to accept differences, while holding fast to our own beliefs. Altogether totally confusing and perfectly sensible. This almost always reminds me of my family.

Waking slightly to the soft sounds of Van Morrison in the tape deck on our night time trips to our land in North Georgia; giddy with anticipation for the next day mixed with hopes of more peaceful sleep~ to wish to always feel this way. Waking up in a tent, breathing in the cold/hot mix of fresh mountain air and wood burning fire, the bone chill of the air. The wood swing out over the steep hill and feeling shrill exhilaration with close-your-eyes-and-trust fear. Walks among sounds only of wind through the trees, rustling of animals and rush of water~I still hold deep trust for my father when in nature. The way my mother watched us like a mama bear over her cubs, the way my dad gave us freedom to explore. This is always constant in our family.

My dad's relentless quest to help turtles to the safe side of the road, often ending woefully bad~intentions completely innocent. The way my mom and sisters and brother find it fall-to-your- knees, barely. able. to. talk. laugh so hard at my Dad sometimes. He is often so serious in teaching a lesson only to find the lesson making an example of him. Like the time he told my brother not to throw food to the pigeons because of what would happen. Oh like what happened all over his head instead. You should see my mother laugh in times like these ~ so raw, so young, so her.

The beach reminds me of my family. Packed car to the ceiling, McDonald's coffee filtering into our sleepy senses on our way. Games my mother made for our car ride made with egg cartons and marbles. Conversations from the heart. Everybody talking, feeling nobody listening~being the middle child and all. Swimming in the ocean reminds me of my family and how we would swim to a sand bar, find a million sand dollars. Screaming from a starfish wrapping around my face, the one my sister placed on my head crying laughing, me just crying. Exploring and taking interest. This reminds me very much of my family.

Boys and friends and trouble and growing independent

Deep connection reminds me of my family.

Screaming~fighting, laughing~crying, joking~embarrassing, teasing~taunting, hugging~kissing, laying side by side, running side by side, watching from sidelines, cheering or defending. Inside jokes and private moments.

Trading juice cookies for Little Debbie's, carrot juice before trick-or-treating, ice cream sundaes from grandparents followed by croup, orange trees, best-friend dogs, experiencing loss, experiencing first loves, 90210, gifted programs and dyslexia, ballet, cross~country, plays, baseball, art shows, yelling, stomping, crying, walks to the gas station for candy, SNL with my sister and our parents laughing at us laughing. So many little and big moments that sculpt my family, and me a shape sculpted from them.

Especially when I look at each one...

Our faces for getting each other
Our faces in disagreement
Our faces of compassion
Our faces of hurt
Our faces of calm
Our faces of need


Our faces that simply resemble...




...and now my own little family, whose face resembles ours...small reminders.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Finding My Groove Again

Silly pic of me after my dance class (bad lighting)

I took a hip hop/Latin dance class at the gym last week. I realized how much I miss that part of my life. Up until the time I graduated from high school I spent my evenings and weekends at the dance studio. I miss the warm up, finding concentration and balance. The music, the rhythm, the sweat, the pushing of my body to keep moving, keep working, feeling the vibration off the group. I miss falling into repetition of movements until the mind and body connect and the soul moves freely, in sync. I miss especially the peacefulness of cooling down, taking deep breaths, sometimes on the verge of tears, realizing the release of emotion from my mind and the way my body felt so alive. I think I will continue to take this class and maybe even find a dance workshop to participate in one weekend. I wish I had never stopped taking classes, I definitely loved the way this class made me feel afterwards~a deep connection I hope to maintain.

C's finding the beat