(Photography by Ricki Chester)Al Green was singing sweetly into my ear the other night while I was working out at the gym. I thought to myself ~ Al Green reminds me of my family~ and I smiled.
Yes Al Green reminds me of my family.
Colorful, deep loving soul music reminds me of my family. The hurt, the pain, the struggle, the love, the anger, the resilience..the ties that bind~over and over again.
The guy who covered Al Green's music at my parent's Christmas party one year, who smoked up on their driveway reminds me of them, giving us all a good head shake and laugh at the quirks of people. "It takes all kinds" my Dad always says. Being able to not take ourselves to seriously.
The ability to accept differences, while holding fast to our own beliefs. Altogether totally confusing and perfectly sensible. This almost always reminds me of my family.
Waking slightly to the soft sounds of Van Morrison in the tape deck on our night time trips to our land in North Georgia; giddy with anticipation for the next day mixed with hopes of more peaceful sleep~ to wish to always feel this way. Waking up in a tent, breathing in the cold/hot mix of fresh mountain air and wood burning fire, the bone chill of the air. The wood swing out over the steep hill and feeling shrill exhilaration with close-your-eyes-and-trust fear. Walks among sounds only of wind through the trees, rustling of animals and rush of water~I still hold deep trust for my father when in nature. The way my mother watched us like a mama bear over her cubs, the way my dad gave us freedom to explore. This is always constant in our family.
My dad's relentless quest to help turtles to the safe side of the road, often ending woefully bad~intentions completely innocent. The way my mom and sisters and brother find it fall-to-your- knees, barely. able. to. talk. laugh so hard at my Dad sometimes. He is often so serious in teaching a lesson only to find the lesson making an example of him. Like the time he told my brother not to throw food to the pigeons because of what would happen. Oh like what happened all over his head instead. You should see my mother laugh in times like these ~ so raw, so young, so her.
The beach reminds me of my family. Packed car to the ceiling, McDonald's coffee filtering into our sleepy senses on our way. Games my mother made for our car ride made with egg cartons and marbles. Conversations from the heart. Everybody talking, feeling nobody listening~being the middle child and all. Swimming in the ocean reminds me of my family and how we would swim to a sand bar, find a million sand dollars. Screaming from a starfish wrapping around my face, the one my sister placed on my head crying laughing, me just crying. Exploring and taking interest. This reminds me very much of my family.
Boys and friends and trouble and growing independent
Deep connection reminds me of my family.
Screaming~fighting, laughing~crying, joking~embarrassing, teasing~taunting, hugging~kissing, laying side by side, running side by side, watching from sidelines, cheering or defending. Inside jokes and private moments.
Trading juice cookies for Little Debbie's, carrot juice before trick-or-treating, ice cream sundaes from grandparents followed by croup, orange trees, best-friend dogs, experiencing loss, experiencing first loves, 90210, gifted programs and dyslexia, ballet, cross~country, plays, baseball, art shows, yelling, stomping, crying, walks to the gas station for candy, SNL with my sister and our parents laughing at us laughing. So many little and big moments that sculpt my family, and me a shape sculpted from them.
Especially when I look at each one...
Our faces for getting each other
Our faces in disagreement
Our faces of compassion
Our faces of hurt
Our faces of calm
Our faces of need
Our faces that simply resemble...
...and now my own little family, whose face resembles ours...small reminders.
4 comments:
I love the descriptions of moments in your life. I've heard many of them and like to read your reflections. Great post. I know that Cole is so lucky to have such a beautiful warm inspriring mom like you. It will be nice when he is older and can read your memories on this blog and ask you to go in depth about each one. Love always,
J
such a beautiful post. i have always enjoyed the years spent with your family. laughing while your dad sings boys to men...AHHAHA and hates it when i call the house, never giving anyone my messages. your sister taking my clinique (that i freak out over and HAVE to have)...your brother hitting my nose w/ his bottle and us just always able to be loony and your family just laugh along. i love you.
What can I say . . . that is so us . . . it brings me back to a moment in time where I alwasy felt so safe - even among all of the yelling - I, for some reason, always felt ok and safe knowing that each of us had each other. I feel so blessed to have this family. However many quircks come with our family they are still our's to call our own, our own memories, our own fights, our own love for one another and no one can take that away from us - thank you for bringing me back and making me feel those sweet times again:)
XOXO
M
I being the momma bear love this blog more than you will ever know - I read it with tears in my eyes. I'll never foget when you were just 5 I told you to clean your room and throw all the trash away - several hours I came back in and there you were with those beautiful huge brown eyes, dressed in your tutu with so many pop beads around your neck. I say Cayden what have you cleaned! You looked at me and said "Mommy there's not one piece of trash in my room". Everything had meaning to you and realize you still hold meaning in every one and thing you touch. You are a beautiful special person and incredible mother. Thank you for letting me be in your life.
Love
momma bear
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